Influence The Psychology Of Persuasion Summary

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Influence, the classic book on persuasion, explains the psychology of why people say “yes”—and how to apply these understandings. Dr. Robert Cialdini is the seminal expert in the rapidly expanding field of influence and persuasion. His thirty-five years of rigorous, evidence-based research along with a three-year program of study on what moves people to change behavior has resulted in this highly acclaimed book.

You’ll learn the six universal principles, how to use them to become a skilled persuader—and how to defend yourself against them. Perfect for people in all walks of life, the principles of Influence will move you toward profound personal change and act as a driving force for your success.

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In this video I want to go deeper in to influence the psychology of persuasion and the reason why I want you to do this pay attention this video and take notes and you know really go deep into this video and the book in general is because this is a very powerful book that can allow you to get whatever results that you want in your life faster

whether it’s business personal life doesn’t matter

there are a lot of practical applications for these principles covered in the book and although I made seven videos talking about the notes my study notes essentially my takeaways from the book

this video is going to be very different in this video

I’m going to cover the six elements of persuasion that calvini defines

and I’m going to give you very practical real-life examples scenarios and situations so that you can shift your perspective and way of looking at the book

but not only that persuasion as a whole because if you can do that then you’re going to be a lot more effective

now why would you want to improve your persuasion

well what I found is that a lot of people have a hard time communicating what they really want the other person to do

and while there are many variables that influence great communication skills the ability to understand and implement the components within this book the persuasion stack as I like to call it

is one of the key determining factors of whether the other person that’s being communicated to will actually take the necessary actions

whether it is buying from you or hanging out with you because you know this stuff is applicable in business in social in careers relationships friendships family etc

getting the other person to do something that is mutually beneficial requires a great unconscious competence and I said it unconscious competence in implementing the persuasion elements

but in order to get there you have to develop conscious competence in other words you have to I’m really aware of everything that’s covered in this book

and where it’s being used and

I’m going to give you the formula to do that as we go through the items and the examples and so forth

so I really recommend that you go back and watch my seven videos if you haven’t already done so links in the description

those are more of my notes and takeaways and I give some examples in there

and then you also go and read the book in its entirety and take your own notes and then you watch this video a few times because I’m going to be going through things very fast

I’m going to be covering a lot of different examples and sometimes it might be hard to grasp accessory especially when I got again into discussions of stacking each of the elements of the persuasion stack

combining them together

because that’s where the power is the power is your ability to combine each of these components because these components these elements here of persuasion speak and connect to the unconscious mind of the person that you’re communicating with

and that what that means is that they’re not able to bypass this persuasion if done effectively is so powerful that the other person is not able to resist

is not able to even be aware that they’re being persuaded

because what you’re doing is you’re communicating to the subconscious mind to the unconscious triggers

now because this is so powerful you want to make sure you use this in the most ethical way possible because there are people out there that use this unethically

and the downside to that when you use it on ethical  is you’ll end up burning yourself in the end because it’ll come back to you

so please make sure that you know when you study this stuff and you go out and implement it you do it in the most ethical manner win-win always with whoever you’re dealing with

the art of persuasion one of the key components is ethics and you should be persuading somebody only if it is in mutual benefit to that outcome that you’re trying to persuade them to take action on

because if it’s not and you get them to do something like I said there are repercussions for that in varying degrees and you know what I’m talking about

all right so let’s talk about the sick components I’ll give you examples multiple different examples and we’re getting into discussion here

and I really want to pay attention is because it doesn’t matter what you want in life business success in relationships dating whatever the persuasion elements the components are very valuable and you want to dedicate the rest of your life really to study this stuff

okay so reciprocity number one we are wired to return the favors or treat others the way they treat us this again is a unconscious trigger when people when people treat us well we want to return the favor

when they don’t treat us well again we want to treat them badly

right we want to reciprocate

and we do this because we have a lot of information that comes at us from a lot of different people and we need to sift and sort and determine who is the most valuable person that we should be paying attention to what is the most valuable advice we should be acting upon

and the unconscious trigger of reciprocity goes to work because it filters out the useful versus the useless the signal versus the noise

and when something is a value to you you’re more likely to believe that the person that is giving value to you is deserving of reciprocation

in other words you want to build a further relationship with them

so one of the ways that you’ll build a further relationship with them is by returning the value in whatever shape or form but are this money hanging out with them doing something for them returning a favor

you will be more likely willing to do it now think about it from your own personal perspectives and example

think of a person in your life that does a lot of very nice things for you and they give you a lot of value

and if they ask you to do something feel notice how you know you feel yourself wanting to give back to that person more so than other people because of all the value that they give to you

now I’ll go deeper into value because I think that that’s a important component in reciprocity

you’ve got to be able to provide value to another person in a way that they perceive it as valuable

now what I mean by that is that you can’t force value onto someone

you can’t say what I have to offer you is valuable

they actually have to believe that it is valuable

in other words they have to perceive that what you are saying they should do

or what it is that you’re giving them is valuable

and this is where you don’t want to trick people or manipulate

persuasion is not about manipulation okay persuasion is an art manipulation is it’s just brute and you don’t want to do that and while it does deploy certain kinds of persuasion elements we don’t do that you want to be more artful respectful so you want to provide somebody value based on what they see is valuable

okay you have to really understand and this is why you’ve got to go back and watch my video put in the link in the description

below seek first to understand then to be understood principle from stephen r.covey book

and really take the time to understand a person that you’re communicating with to determine what they see is value and you ask a lot of questions not intrusive questions

although I believe that most people are you know way on the safe side of asking the intrusive questions rather than really going deep and asking the specific questions

and this is all about calibration right what you need to do is you need to determine what they see as value and then figure out how you could provide that value to them in whatever shape or form that they consume that value in

because they might consume value in many different ways

they might want the value from you but they might consume it differently right everybody consumes value differently because we’re different kind of learners for example some are auditory visual kinesthetic some people see the what everyone sees the world differently

so you have to understand not only what they see as value but their map of reality how they see reality how they navigate how they believe the world to work they believe the world is friendly plays evil plays what what are they what are they hold with high regards

you really gotta understand these things because that’s how you provide value based on that and then from that if you continuously give them value then you best believe that the unconscious trigger is going to kick in and they’re going to want to reciprocate

next let’s move on to commitment and consistency and I promise we’ll come back to this we’re going to free flow is a very free-flowing video I know script I’m just talking because I want to share with you my practical analysis and examples and experience over the last few years of going deep

with this book and this is a lifelong study here okay so I’m probably gonna make a video 5 or 10 years from now and it’s going to have even more perspectives more insights on this so let’s continue

commitment and consistency small requests pave the way for compliance with larger subsequent requests ok

if you ask somebody to do something very small very small gesture asking to something small and they agree to it you’re essentially training them to comply

and then when you move to a higher request when you ask them to do something that is a little bit more risk they’re already trained and they’re more likely comply again but that is because of the commitment and consistency principle now you are responsible for moving them forward progressively and that’s why in business we have something called a sales funnel where we sell a product that is you know low price point in the beginning

and then we systematically move them down a process of purchasing higher and larger more expensive you know higher ticket price items

and again not to be manipulative but because of the value that’s provided in each of those steps they’re more likely to comply so that being said

we have to successfully stack commitment and consistency with reciprocity so here’s how you do it

you add value and you ask for a commitment very tiny commitment

now think of social situations when you meet somebody meet a stranger if you don’t have any value they’re probably not gonna want to hang out with you right away you can’t just say hey let’s go for a coffee right away you’re going to have to add value

and that value has to be value based on what they perceived is valuable and remember most people can’t articulate what value is so you’ve got to figure it out

and you’ve got to understand what they see as valuable

and we provide that value they’ll comply and then you add more value and that you can raise the the request you’ll get a higher level of commitment and so forth

same thing in business many different applications including friendships family career there are a lot of creative ways but the key is value

okay value creates reciprocity and the reciprocity essentially allows you to make deposits in their emotional bank account

and then you can get them to commit and then you add more value and then they will commit further

and again ethics very important some people are a lot easier to manipulate than others and the persuasion elements can be used in manipulation so

but however you know by doing it and if it’s not in their best interest you’re only going to get burned in the end

so I recommend mutual benefit when applying is very powerful stuff ok

next social proof we feel more comfortable to do something when we see others doing it this is also known as herd mentality groupthink

and Society right people act like each other because constantly we’re looking around to see how everybody is acting so that we can determine how we should live based on that now

there are positive and negative aspects to that’s positive being that you know if you’re too outrageous and you go too far against the rules of society you might end up in jail you might have end up an outcast you might not be able to make a living for yourself

but if you’re a joke polish from I love marketing says systematically outrageous then you can be a person that is kind of an outcast or a person that doesn’t agree with society do your own thing and still be very functional

because not everything that group thing or social proof our society is telling you is actually the optimal thing based on your own specific objectives

so you need to have a very specific goal as to what you want in life and I make a lot of videos talking about this

what you want out the interaction whatever it is you need to know it clearly what it is because sometimes you might be under the influence of social proof

you might find yourself in an environment that’s going to get you to do things or unconsciously you know persuade you because this is happening at an unconscious level to do something that would be suboptimal

it’s going to move you away from your goals and what you need to do is discipline yourself to catch yourself and you get better at this observe the surroundings look at the individuals net outcome and ask yourself if I do what they’re doing am I going to also get their net outcome

and most likely you will and that’s why I recommend that you surround yourself with people that you inspire to be like because

this is an unconscious trigger just like everything else and you’re more likely to unconsciously buy in to the opinions and actions and philosophies and ideas of the people that you associate with

based on social proof now if you stack all three together and you are communicating somebody so you go into an environment and you’re persuading somebody and there’s commitment and consistently a lot of value and they see others buying into it other people doing it

that amplifies their compliance okay so you will see a lot of business people doing this a lot of internet business people they put testimonials on there they’ll talk about how they were featured here and and all these people like them

and you don’t even know if it’s true or not but unconsciously you see that as social proof and you’re more likely to comply

next is liking to engage in a dialogue or transaction with those that we like or resemble what we like or carry likeable qualities

we tend to enjoy spending time with do business with interact with want to meet individuals and groups of individuals that resemble us and carry Quualitys wallah teas that we like if you dress a certain way you’ll probably like people that dress a certain way you no eople who dress really trendy hanging around other people that dress really trendy those that have you know a lot of tattoos and piercings they people have tattoos and piercings if another person approaches them who has tattoos and piercings they’re unconscious mind gives them a bias that that person is a good person and they will convince themselves that that person is actually a good person they’ll realize they’re doing this I mean you’re realizing this now because you understand and you’re getting a better understanding of persuasion how it works and again this is not a bad thing this is just how it works

I’m not talking about good and Battle beer I’m talking about pragmatics I’m talking about what works and really you got to understand that sometimes when you see somebody that carries certain qualities like for example there are certain physical features in a human being and in the opposite sex or those that were attracted to that gets us to bypass a rationale

and we might actually put that person on a pedestal if I actually start to like them more and give them a unfair bias or we might have an unfair bias that puts them puts them on a pedestal and then we start to act differently and essentially they have power over us because they persuade us because they’re unconsciously not even aware of it most amount on using the liking principle

now if you want to use it to your favor then you understand who your audience is who you’re communicating with who the people that you want to persuade and how can you become more likable to them

what are the commonalities characteristics personifications physical mental emotional qualities that that person or that group of people admire what do they like and if you can meet that like a checklist

you’re you’re going to improve your persuasion stack now again if you stack that with social proof as an a like everyone else is doing this thing commitment and consistency by adding value through reciprocity in getting people to commit and consistently move down the process

then your persuasion is going to be a lot more powerful now again that’s why I recommend you watch this video a number of times okay so

download it listen to the non mp3 convert to mp3 and let’s do it over it again because it might be if you’re new to this or if you’re intermediate to expert hard to grasp how to stack these things together but the more you can stack the components of persuasion stack together

in different combinations different forms different environments different markets different people powerful it is

and I know this from practical experience okay

so next is Authority we are more likely to respect and act upon the request of someone who is seen as an authoritative figure if somebody has the word doctor or wears a uniform police officer Army uniform Navy whatever

we’re more likely to see that person as authoritative now this is unconscious

and it’s important to understand that that’s the most direct obvious form of authority I want you to be more apparent and more aware and interested in discovering the very subtle nuance based projections of authority that you’ll find around in society

people that walk a certain way they carry themselves a certain way for example say say you lift weights right and you start building a more muscular physique

your chest will start to pop out your shoulders will start to pop up and you’ll start to look more authoritative

to the rest of the world you will come off as being more authoritative now this is unconscious and remember a lot of people can’t communicate to you what persuades them or not so a lot of people might say mad that’s not necessarily true

but it’s it’s important that you understand what people respond to rather than what they say okay so for the most part there’s a lot of things that you can do to improve your authority

you can carry yourself certain weight you can wear a certain level or so wear certain clothes in certain environments this is all about calibration

like I said we’re unconsciously wired to fear and even respect somebody who has a certain development in their body both male/female etc you know what I’m talking about and we also want to make sure that we’re doing things

like speaking a certain way articulating ourselves a certain way and associating with certain people now there’s an interesting example that Jay Abraham always brings up about and this is used with many different we don’t even know where the origins of the story comes from

but essentially somebody approached maybe one of the Rothschilds and said can you teach me how to make money or can you help me make money and they said

you know what I’m gonna do something better what to do is I’m gonna put my arm around your shoulder and we’re going to walk down this this hallway and there’s a lot of people in the hallway we’re going to walk down once and then I’m gonna walk back with you

and the lesson behind that story is that because you are associated with that person of high status high authority and again not determined by the word doctor or you know wearing uniform as many the forms of authority

more and more people are going to come up to you and want to deal with you

so if you can find all the characteristics and qualities of an authoritative figure in your industry or those that you are trying to persuade and mirror that

or connect with people who have that authority then your persuasion stack becomes even more powerful

when you combine that with liking and social proof everybody else is doing it

adding a lot of value and asking for stuff in return and commitment consistency now you’re moving to higher levels and more complex examples and processes and strategies of the six principles

and and the last component of the persuasion stack is the scarcity principle

scarcity principle so what is available in limited quantity or in limited time has a higher perceived value

okay it’s very important I make that distinction perceived value might not actually be worth more but it’s perceived that way because again it’s an unconscious trigger

and we have this unconscious trigger like the others as a survival mechanism because we don’t want to lose out on resources that are scared

because we might need them for survival this is back to our hunter-gatherer days now this principle has been used successfully in marketing in persuasion for many decades

even in environments where scarcity doesn’t exist

and one of the reasons why is if you look around in society most people see things from a scarcity perspective

they believe that business opportunities are scarce

relationships our scarce

people that they want to meet our scarce they just have a scarcity way of looking at the world

and you know while it might be valid in certain areas for the most part we overestimate the scarcity in other words we don’t actually understand that they might be abundant resources available in different locations different environments even by shifting our perspective

and our paradigm around we can start to look at resources that are actually abundant

and make better use of them rather than the resources that are scarce

there’s a lot you know involved with this I’m not going to get into discussion about that what I want to talk about is persuasion

here so when you are connecting with somebody and you employ scarcity and you’ve got to do it from an authentic way you can’t trick it because if they find out again like all the other components of the persuasion stack that you are using it from a manipulative not a persuasive

but manipulate a standpoint as and it’s not authentic

then what’s going to happen is it’s not going to work

and they’re never going to trust you again and you blew all your you’ll blow out your chances you might as well start over again with somebody else

however if you actually have a lot of things going on in your life

if you actually have that a lot of value to provide the world

then you’re going to get a lot of people that want to associate with you that want to do business with you and again value based on the perspective of the individuals okay what they see is value

if you have that then you’re going to have no problem projecting that your time energy and resources are scarce

and you’re going to command a higher price point more people are going to want to get in contact with you

this is very apparent in the business world

because you know I’m involved with a lot of business consultants some of the top business consultants and their time is very scarce because of the perceived value

and because of the essentially top of the pyramid top of the food chain

other individuals have a greater desire to want to connect with them

even if even if the information that they have might not be particularly applicable for their specific issue

they still believe that this person can solve it because scarcity gets us to and it’s very important that you understand this scarcity and like the other principles but I’m very fascinated by scarcity gets us to bypass rational thinking

okay gets us to bypass rational thinking

well we don’t look at the data we don’t do an analysis and we make decisions on the whim based on unconscious triggers

and we even backwards rationalize remember this backwards rationalize that we should have made that decision

failing to understand that comes from an unconscious trigger and that we were either consciously unconsciously persuaded

so that’s the summary that I wanted to share with you today

it’s been a long video I think it’s very valuable and it’s my you know got a few years working with this book perspective analysis more importantly

I want you to sit down and think about all the areas of your life that you want success in business relationships friendships dating whatever

and figure out where you can apply these components of the persuasion stack and then to go to the next level how could you stack them together how could you connect them in different ways how could you be a little bit more methodical and rational and strategic in your thinking again

from an ethical standpoint remember has to be of mutual benefit because it is a mutual benefit I’m gonna be honest with you it’s actually a lot more powerful the stack is more pop more powerful when it’s mutually beneficial

because a lot of people can can see in authenticity okay nowadays more than ever there’s more than enough information I put out a lot of information to help you spot those that are either using these things against you

whether they’re aware of it or not so you’re getting smarter the world is getting smarter and people are able to sift and sort and understand who’s being authentic

who’s using these tools and resources for authentic mutual benefit and who’s using it for selfish reasons that aren’t beneficial for the other individual or the group involved

okay so very powerful information but remember use it in the most ethical practical way and I have to say this over and over again because this is powerful stuff okay I only share with

you in my channel what I believe is the most powerful information that I come across and I implement and influence the psychology of persuasion is one of those books that you absolutely to read if we want success in any of your life

hope you enjoyed this video got lots of good practical information and value and actionable items out of it thank you for watch for watching this video I will talk to you soon take care

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