Do You Have Too Many Expectations of Yourself?
We all want to be better people and do more in our lives, but if you find that the expectations you have of yourself are taking the joy and happiness from you, that is when it becomes a problem. Don’t let your ambition and instinct to keep working more and harder keep you from actually enjoying your life.
Here are some signs that you have too many expectations of yourself.
People Make Jokes About How You Never Say No
This is not funny, and not something you should laugh along with. When you notice other people kind of making light of how you will always say yes no matter what, it is a big sign that you are a people pleaser who puts everyone else first before yourself. The next time you catch someone mentioning how you don’t say no to anything, keep it in mind. Start keeping a tally, because this might be a sign that you are expecting too much of yourself, and that is causing others to expect too much of you as well.
Here are some examples of affirmations that you can use on a daily basis. Pick a few that resonate with you or simply write your own!
- I create a safe and secure space for myself wherever I am.
- I give myself permission to do what is right for me.
- I am confident in my ability to [fill in the blank].
- I use my time and talents to help others [fill in the blank].
- What I love about myself is my ability to [fill in the blank].
- I feel proud of myself when I [fill in the blank].
- I give myself space to grow and learn.
- I allow myself to be who I am without judgment.
- I listen to my intuition and trust my inner guide.
- I accept my emotions and let them serve their purpose.
- I give myself the care and attention that I deserve.
- My drive and ambition allow me to achieve my goals.
- I share my talents with the world by [fill in the blank].
- I am good at helping others to [fill in the blank].
- I am always headed in the right direction.
- I trust that I am on the right path.
- I am creatively inspired by the world around me.
- My mind is full of brilliant ideas.
- I put my energy into things that matter to me.
- I trust myself to make the right decision.
- I am becoming closer to my true self every day.
- I am grateful to have people in my life who [fill in the blank].
- I am learning valuable lessons from myself every day.
- I am at peace with who I am as a person.
- I make a difference in the world by simply existing in it.
You Feel Anxious if You Have a Random Free Window
Do you notice that when you suddenly have an hour free with nothing to do, your brain goes instantly to panic mode? Maybe you suddenly have 20 minutes before your next task that needs to be done, and you start worrying that you are forgetting something. You start stressing, check your calendar, check your phone, try to remember what your to-do list was. This is not normal or healthy behavior. You should be able to enjoy the downtime without having to go into a full blown panic attack because you are so used to being busy 24/7.
You Have Trouble Sleeping
There are many reasons people have trouble sleeping, but you might find that it happens a lot when your brain is full of all the things you need to get done. A good way to tell if this is what is causing it is by paying attention to where your mind goes when you struggle falling asleep. What were you thinking about beforehand? What caused a spike in your energy or adrenaline? Were you worried about something you have to get done, or upset about not doing enough that day?
You Can Never Focus
Do you have a hard time focusing throughout the day, because you are constantly bouncing from one project to the next? This is a big sign that you might be in the habit of having too many expectations for yourself, trying to constantly keep busy because you think that makes you more productive and valuable. Lack of focus is often a sign of burnout, and it is definitely worth looking into.
- Put your oxygen mask first: The first step to getting rid of expectations is to treat yourself kindly. …Being self-compassionate is like fresh oxygen to your mind.
- Adjust the Way You Think. You cannot control what others think about you, but you can choose how you talk to yourself. …You are the best person you can talk to.
- Speak Up. …People will assume the social contract is active unless you explicitly break it.Life is not perfect — removing expectations will let you appreciate your life as is.
- Free Yourself and Free Others. …
- Stop Judging, Stop Expecting.
Removing expectations doesn’t mean lowering your bar but letting go of unnecessary pressure. Only when you feel relaxed, you can give your best.
Learn to see the glass broken.
Enjoy things while they last and be okay when they break. Living without expectations requires accepting the worst and aiming for the best. And that applies to what people expect from you too.